The Breakthrough
In June 2019, our Social Worker identified the child Eric Mukisa as a son of a mentally ill mother, and unknown father, with no close relatives to take care of him. Even though the child was not malnourished, he was living on the streets with his mentally ill mother and with skin rashes all over his little body
After his admission to our transition home, we realized how his chaotic situation had impacted his social behavior. Eric was always avoiding contact with the staff and was constantly crying. He used to carry a small chair on the top of his head to signal his desire to be away and protected from others. Eventually, he became closer to Alice, one of our staff members, who showed him love and cared for him. When I first met him in early 2019, he screamed at me and never wanted to be seen by me, never mind being near him.
One day, I had left my door open, and I found him playing with a toy I had left near the bedroom door. Immediately when he saw me coming, he run away. I did not say anything, but I made sure
I left the door open a few times a day to attract him to the room. He was constantly going there after he was sure I was not around, or so he thought.
During my trip at the end of 2019, he was always observing how other children were playing with me. He wanted to do the same but something internal prevented him from showing his emotions. He was always observing me from a distance.
In February 2020, he wanted to play with me or catch my attention but in a rough way by throwing toys at me. I wanted to be closer to him, but he never allowed me to. In terms of his interaction with other children, he was ok but constantly eating and playing at a distance from others, and sometimes with the small chair on top of his head.
Fast forward, after the difficult COVID year we all lived through, I was able to come back to Uganda. Today is day number 4 after my return on May 3, 2021. Eric has become a bit more engaged even following the “high-five” sign that the rest of the children are doing with me.
The children have become very close to me. They want to be hugged or play with my hair, or my laptop or my phone!
I am teaching them to show their emotions. In this culture I have observed that for the most part children are not kissed or hugged by their families. The “blow me a kiss” is now being practiced by all the children except Eric. It is like he wants to do it but at the same time he doesn’t want to show his emotions.
Today, the children were attending their morning lessons of ABC. Eric was at the corner crying non-stop. To my surprise, when I opened my arms, he came straight to me. When I held him, he embraced me like his possession. He placed his head on my shoulders and I felt his deepest desire to be held tight. My own emotions went to the roof! This was a major breakthrough!
Eric is only 2 years and 10 months old and yet, he has suffered what no child should suffer. Living on the streets with a mentally ill mother, who according to some local people has never been treated at a hospital or seen a doctor.
After a good 20 minutes in my arms, I asked Eric if he wanted to play with his friends. Instead, he answered by keeping his head on my shoulder.
Other children came closer to show me their projects, but Eric ignored them; he was very comfortable in my arms. I was in heaven, thinking that after 2 years this beautiful-sweet little child and I were able to connect at a different level. He struggled to show his emotions until he realized I was not going to harm him, but to love him.
I don’t know if Eric will be one day reunited with his mother. Our plan is to have a doctor evaluate his mother and provide her with the right treatment. The Probation Officer will decide if in the future it would be safe for Eric to live with her or, if his future will be with a foster/adopt family. If this is the case, the longer we keep him here, the more difficult will be for a family to adopt him as families usually like to adopt young babies.
Eric is only one case of many more out there. Our work with these children is a drop in the ocean. I know we cannot change the world but according to St. Mother Theresa, the ocean will not be the same without our little drop.
Morella Carta
Jinja 5/7/2021
Website: Starsuganda.com
Instagram: @starsuganda
FB: starsuganda1
Email: starsuganda@helpint.org